How my past mental health struggles molded me into who I am today.

As I said in some of my other posts, in the past I struggled with my mental health.

But, before all that, let’s describe how I developed it.

I was in the 5th grade and about 10 years old. I looked kind of like this:

Sleepy Kid
That was the best picture I can find. 😉

I remember that I did something really crazy, and I got in trouble for it.

My parents ridiculed me for it, my classmates, and so much other people.

It made me feel like I was worthless, which was a bad sign.

The part that made it more interesting was:

A couple months later, me and my family moved.

action asphalt auto automobile
So long old town. Naw, I’m just playing, I don’t miss it!

We moved to a different town with different people, and different things.

I remember I was so mad when I knew that I was moving away.

I mean,  I had so many friends, family members, and old traditions that I would miss.

 Which made things worse. . .

Yeah UH-OH!

For a while, I was ok , but I still had the same insecurities.

Then 6th grade arrived. . .

Again, I had to deal with the same things. I went to a school on the other side of town and I didn’t know anybody.

I felt lost and alone, and I thought no one would help me.

And that’s when I started to have negative thoughts. . .

I was overwhelmed, afraid, fearful, scared, and anything else negative.

The good part about my 6th grade year was that I met many people, and I had many new experiences.

Now 7th grade year:

In the last 3 years, I went to 3 different schools.

That meant after 6th grade, I moved to a new school.

I don’t miss middle school.

Now, this was better. I mean I knew some people(like 3), which made the welcoming a little more familiar to me.

I hanged out with those familiar people , and it turned out they were some bad influences on me, but I didn’t want to be alone.

They would talk about me, and act rudely toward me, but I still thought of them as my friends.

The weird part was that to them I was unique, and they didn’t like that trait in me.

But as I said, they were still my “friends”.

8th grade year

Now , I was comfortable. I knew a lot of people, and a lot of people knew me.

But, I still had those same friends.

silhouette photography of group of people jumping during golden time
Can’t we all just get along, like these people here?


When I hung out with them, I started to notice why I should leave them:

  • I got into a fight that year
  • They did drugs, which I didn’t do
  • They still talked about me

So, I decided to try something new:

I decided to try a new group of people as my companions.

To be honest, it didn’t go too well.

When I tried to hang out with new people, it was hard because most of them didn’t have the same interests as me or look like me.

What I meant by that: I went to a majority white school.

There were black people, but it was weird because I’m the child of African immigrants who migrated to America , while they were descendants of people who were brought to America years ago , so I was kind of like “meh.”

Just like these fellas.

High School – Freshman

My freshman year gave me a new start. I knew I was going to recognize some people because I either went to middle school or elementary school with them, and I was kind of familiar with the school because I went to work out over there almost every day during the summer.

So, it was alright.

I played basketball , and I met tons of amazing people.

But, I was insecure which set me back HARD. . .

I saw people with girlfriends , and I  wanted that kind of attention.

Now, I was a quiet guy, so I decided to act like a jerk for a while and see how it went:

It went awful.

Although I gained a reputation, I was made fun of almost every single day, which diminished my self-esteem.


Sophomore Year

It was exactly like freshman year, but that made me realize something:

I realized that I couldn’t live like this if I wanted to be happy, so I started to slowly change. . . 

I got into personal development, and started to be more aware of my mental health.

Although I was in pretty good shape(physically),  I clearly realized that my confidence was being neglected.

So that summer,  I decided I needed to take things into my own hands and not depend on others. . .


The journey[still continuing]


arizona asphalt beautiful blue sky
I wish my journey looked this easy.


I watched motivational Youtube videos on people who went through similar things like I did. . .

I would consume loads of information on how to improve confidence , and how to be successful.

I eventually turned those inspirational people into my  virtual friends, and I would listen and read their content daily.

Sooner or later, I started acting like those people, which helped me start this blog!

And after devouring a whole bunch of articles, books, and videos, I realized that they all had one thing in common:

They constantly took action, and when they struggled , they always looked up.

Let’s be blunt here: life sometimes sucks. But, it is if we let that affect us in a good way or a bad way.

You can either be a smiley face or a frowning face, no matter what kind of situation.

girl wearing pink white teal and blue crew neck cold shoulder standing near fence
Make me even happier by sharing this blog post.

I also learned another thing:

Focus on the things you can control , and not what you can’t control.

Examples of what you can’t control would be:

  1. Other peoples’s opinions of you
  2. What you look like
  3. Your family

That’s it! But, it’s  definitely hard for sure .

For example,  the reason I struggled with my mental health in the past was because of example #1.

I always cared about what other people thought of me, and I didn’t even consider the most opinion of all: mine.

So when I took some dang action, and stopped caring about what other people thought, my life changed for the better.

What molded into me when I started this journey.

I turned from an always negative, pessimistic type of guy to a person filled with optimism and confidence.

Back then, I was the type of guy who always smiled, but inside I really didn’t mean it.

I also began to notice that life will always throw things at you, and you’ll just have to persist and stay positive.

Or you can look up to the greats like I did, doesn’t really matter.

I know it’s obvious, but

“There’s always going to be obstacles in life.”


It’s the most perfect time to say. . .


girl drawing on brown wooden table
Homework Time!!!

The homework is to share me a quote that inspires you to take action and do what you love in the comments below. . .

Hopefully you do it, because:

watching you
I am ALWAYS watching you…

Take it easy and enjoy life!


Geary Erua

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2 thoughts on “How my past mental health struggles molded me into who I am today.

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