The Ultimate Guide in Being a Social Butterfly.

Giraffes talking to each other.
HAHA. That’s funny.

” True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island…to find one real friend in a lifetime is a good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.”

-Baltasar Gracian

Although I’m not a social expert, I do know how to talk to people.

The ability to communicate is one of the most important skills us humans need in our lives.

We are very social creatures, and besides, we need to talk in order to get what we want…

For example, a date with someone, money,  or to just sell a product.

Now, I’m not saying you need to be an extrovert to be successful.


The word no.

Matter of fact, I consider myself an introvert and I absolutely love to talk to people.

Introverts usually are seen as stuck up and shy people who don’t know how to start a conversation.

That is a lie!

Introverts are people who just love to spend time by themselves, which is something I love to do.

For those who aspire to start a conversation with anyone you want, this is for you!

I’m going to reveal you mindsets, techniques, and challenges I use to increase my sociability.

Because I used to be very anti-social, and I hated it.

Let’s start with the mindsets:




The mindsets I use while conversation are:

  1. Everything will be okay – This one by far the most I use.
  2. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone – Just be you!


Mindset #1

A man looking over the city.

Everything will be Alright

When I encountered this as a mindset to use in social interactions, it automatically changed my perspective on having conversations. I used to be afraid to speak up because I would think that I would get judged and ridiculed.

But, don’t think like that.

Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, we’re human. And realize that there is a 9/10 chance that you wouldn’t be made fun of or ridiculed.

So, don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright.


Mindset #2

Come out, come out wherever you are.

I don’t need to prove myself to anyone

Yeah, I said it. It’s true.

How many times do you see someone automatically change attitudes as soon as they’re with their “friends” ?


Accept yourself, and then other people will embrace you. Yes, it’s going to be pretty hard if you obviously look very different or act very different, but once they see you accepting your flaws, they’ll embrace theirs.

And it’s all because someone showed them that they can.

Trying to prove yourself to other people is one of the worst things you can do in a social situation because people can tell insecurity from a mile away.

Here is a quote that can help you embrace yourself even more:

” Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

-Lao Tzu



The proper technique.

The techniques would be stuff like body language and how to start conversations.

Ready, Set, Go!


Body Language

two persons hand shake
Photo by on

Use Open Body Language.

Our body language says a lot about ourselves. Although we might have the greatest conversation in the world with someone, that person might think how bad the conversation is going all because of our body language.

What I mean by open body language is to open yourself up.

That means:

  1. No Self Hugging
  2. No pretending like it’s cold

It might be cold, but don’t get fazed by it because you might show that person that you’re not interested in what they have to say.


Eye Contact.

If you don’t have the ability to look people in the eye when you’re speaking, to them it means you have a very low opinion of yourself. It clearly shows that person that you’re insecure and that you prefer looking at something else other than them, which is not a good thing if you want a good conversation.

Look at them in the eyes!

Eye contact is very important, but I don’t mean that you should stare at them, that would be seen as creepy.

There are 3 ways you can properly use your eye contact.

  1. Look into one eye every 3 seconds – After 3 seconds, shift your eyes to the other eye
  2. Triangle technique – Shift your eyes in a triangle direction. First look into their eyes, then look at the mouth.
  3. Look at the bridge of their nose – Probably one of the easiest ones

Do this with consistent practice!


Conversation Starter.

photograph of men having conversation seating on chair
Photo by Helena Lopes on

You can stare at the person all you want, but you have to start that conversation, right?

Here are some openers I use:

  1. For someone I know personally – I normally start with , ” How are you doing?”
  2. Someone I just met – I greet them and ask for their name , or I just ask a simple question

Key Tip: Remember People’s Names

We have names for a reason, and besides, people love to hear their names.



person s playing chess
Photo by on

My social skills wouldn’t be near as good as they are now if I hadn’t challenged myself to get socially uncomfortable.

Here are some of the social challenges I have used in order to increase my social confidence:

  1. Give complements to random people – At first this scared the crap out of me, but now I have no problem saying complements to people.
  2. If it’s a member of the opposite sex, try to flirt – You don’t have to like them, this just helps with your flirting skills.
  3. Greet people you don’t know – As I said, scary at first, but now I don’t have any problems meeting people.

You don’t have to do this everyday(if you can good),  just try to do it at least once a week.


Homework Time.

A young boy focusing on his homework.
There you go… you got this!

Work on your biggest weaknesses in social interactions.

It could be your eye contact or the way you start conversations, just work on it.

And don’t forget to practice it on people!

It’s due once you submit it in the comments below.




Hot air balloons rising at sunset.

Realize that you can be what you want to be.

There are no restrictions to it, unless you put yourself mentally in a restriction.

Have a limitless mindset and everything in life will be much easier.

” If you can embrace that the things that you can do are limitless, you can put your ding in the universe. You can change the world.”

-Tim Cook


Always remember that YOU are AWESOME!!!


Geary Erua.

P.S: Are you into pictures? If so, check out my other blog. Don’t forget to comment, like, share, and follow!





2 thoughts on “The Ultimate Guide in Being a Social Butterfly.

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